Monday, October 10, 2011

Zombie Outbreak Detected!

Last year I documented the fairly-tame zombie outbreak that happened on WWU campus during Spring Quarter, and I'll be doing it again this year. Video evidence of last year's outbreak has been compiled in an informational video below.

According to long-range transmissions, there is a high potential of this non-lethal plague striking campuses around the world within the next few months. Local analysts have determined that a WWU-based outbreak may hit the student population within the next week. These analysts have used algorithms and data over the past few years to predict that the full-on outbreak will happen approximately 7 a.m. local time on Wednesday, October 19th.

Scientists have also found that once the outbreak happens, only a specific population of students will be able to become carriers, and ultimately show physical symptoms of the zombie virus. These potential carriers will be tested for during the coming week, be trained on how to respond on campus, and issued orange armbands to designate that they may be carriers. Anyone becoming infected will tie the orange armband around their head, to signal to everyone they are zombies.
If you feel you may be a potential carrier, please attend one of the meetings over the next week, which will be at 7 p.m. in Arntzen Hall, Room 100 on the following days:
  1. Thursday, Oct. 13
  2. Saturday, Oct. 15
  3. Monday, Oct. 17
  4. Tuesday, Oct. 18
Good luck, and may you have good aim and quick feet.

Part 2
Part 3


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