Saturday, October 29, 2011

HvZ: Mission Two

This morning I woke up, and felt super groggy and achy. I went to a late brunch, and then cruised through the campus, looking for any humans out and about, but to no avail. As the afternoon started, I felt odd. At first my fingertips went numb, and then my arms and legs tingled. I felt really warm, and all of a sudden the world spun, and all I saw was darkness.

When I woke up, I was on a covered flight of outside concrete stairs. I was dazed, and my head felt like it was splitting open. I tried walking off the stairs, and into the light rain, but I couldn't get halfway down the stairs before an intense paint wracked through my body. I retreated to the top of the flight and tried to remember how I had gotten there. Nothing was coming to me. I checked my watch, and it said 2:05 p.m.

I sat down and listened to the rain that pattered against the bricks and the hum of a nearby ventilation system. Just from what I saw around me, I realized that I was at the Steam Plant, just behind the Arts building and Ross Engineering. No one would really find me unless they knew where I was or were actively looking for me--and I couldn't go anywhere without collapsing.

The chilly air combined with the sounds of the rain and vents were very hypnotizing. I sat there for what felt like forever, and then I heard something. I looked up and saw a team of about twenty humans equipped to the teeth with blasters coming around the corner. The infection inside me looped at the sight of the weapons, and I wanted to flee, but my body wouldn't respond correctly.

The group spotted and came over to where I was. They seemed completely at ease and happy to have found me--a reaction that completely put me at unease. The woman in front came up to me, made sure I was alright, and then uttered a nonsensical phrase: Super bird. And then, it happened...
This image flashed in my mind, and everything flooded back to me.

I had been attacked from behind and tranquilized earlier in the day. At one point I had woken up, and found myself strapped down, people talking to me from all around, and flashing a series of cards changing in front of me. Someone out of my vision stuck me with a needle, and my arm burned as the chemicals mixed in my blood. The infection with in trembled at this invasion of the chemicals, and I could feel my mind becoming aware of the infection's loss of control over my body. They were curing me!

Some authority-sounding man spoke behind me, saying things that I couldn't pay attention to or decipher. My ears rang and my vision was getting cloudy. A moment before I became unconscious again the last flashcard was the Superman emblem, and the image of a bird in flight.

I blinked, and I was back on the steps of the Steam Plant, surrounded by a huge group of humans. I looked down at my watch, and it now read 2:18 p.m. The woman told me that I was a test subject for a strain of "Agent Z"--a possible cure for the infection. I had been captured as a zombie, given a dose of Agent Z, and left at the Steam Plant to test the effects of it, especially on mobility and cognition responses. So far, my mind was behaving as an un-infected human should without a live version of the infection in them. This was a phenomenal step. I needed to be protected and escorted to a pick-up zone for the Bellingham Defense Front (BDF).

The group of humans all swarmed around me, kept me hidden and protected, and we proceeded to Miller Hall. Inside, there was another zombie-turned-human by Agent Z. It was explained by a military member that quite a few different subjects were given various doses and strains of Agent Z to test all of its effects, and that the BDF was preparing to pick up these test subjects at 3:00 p.m. We had to get these "objectives" from Miller Hall, to the extraction point at the tennis courts on The Ridge before their doses wore off.

It was decided that the group of humans present would split into a few groups: two groups defending and escorting the two objectives, with a third group running around for added protection and intel. My group decided to try and use the PAC route to get to the Ridge, and so we made our way through Miller Hall so we could building-hop. Once our group was reloaded, strapped up, and had me safely in the middle, we launched.

We rushed out of Miller and were going to use the Humanities Building and Old Main as jump-points, but after seeing no zombies we briskly walked all the way to Vendor's Row, and filed down beneath the PAC. The PAC has many exits, and we knew any infected that saw us wouldn't be able to track all of them. After filing through the building, we came out on High Street. Our presence had been detected, but we all pushed across the street, and the whole way up to The Ridge. The zombies stalked us the entire way, but my group kept tight on me--I even had a few personal guards to kept them with me, even if the other members strayed off to stun a zombie or scout ahead.

We were hunted the entire way through The Ridge, but we all kept close as we filed through the parking lot, and then along a back-road going between all the dorms. One of our members had a key into Delta and the Ridgeway Commons. The group rested a moment and tried to figure out a way to get me to the tennis court, a mere thirty feet from one of the exits. At this point, we were pinned down in the building, as groups of infected has circled up around the building and extraction point.

One of my guards was able to confirm that at least one of the other objectives had reached the courts safely, and that the court may be protected by an anti-infection mist or signal. We were sufficiently pinned down, no matter which way we went. All we could do was wander from door to door, peaking out at the hungry infected. As the clock grew closer to 4 p.m., I could feel the effects of Agent Z wearing off. At first, there was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that kept creeping forward, and my chest began to have that hollow feeling again.

As Agent Z completely left my system, I could feel the infection taking over again. It was numbed, but it was returning. About this time is when we heard the news--the other objective was going to be picked up by the BDF. All the infected focused their efforts on the tennis court, where the humans were guarding their objective. There was only enough time for three waves, which the humans were able to keep their objective safe and rescued--but many humans were turned in this last effort. The humanity and infection in me fought each other as I watched the onslaught from the sidelines.

During the evening, there was word that the different tests of Agent Z had helped synthesize an air-distributed serum that helps fight the infection. Essentially, it targets the infection's ability to recover from being stunned by the polyurethane in the darts. The serum was successful, but only to an extent--now the infection took 12 minutes to recover, instead of the usual 10. It was a victory, but a small one that many of us figured would effect us less over time. We had the BDF on the run...

Saturday, October 22, 2011

HvZ: Day Three

Day three was terrible for us infected. We woke up realizing that the pulses and tremors that invaded our dreams were not only a reality: the humans had received a device to keep us at bay.

The morning dragged by, knowing that the humans were safe until noon; and each shudder in the air only made it worse. Our infections twisted and coiled within, ready to be released. On top of that, the weather matched our temperaments; it was windy, cold, and rainy.

During the rest of the day, humans stayed together, and weren't out in the open for long. It was a slow day, and my legs and body ached from the hunger and yearning. In the rain, I made my way back to my dorm, to rest and recuperate, and prepare. There had been whispers that the humans were planning another attack on the hordes on Saturday.

Friday, October 21, 2011

HvZ: Mission One

Thursday evening: Counterstrike

Our swarms of zombies grew, in a slow, predictable manner. Our prey fell to our tactics, their humanity slowly shed itself under our corrupting touches. Some were turned in mere minutes, others languished in that grey, mottled zone between human and infected, and eventually succumbed and joined the Pounding of Many Feet in the search for more humans.

Like I said before, we were all driven by that dull ache within. That mind-numbing drive to push forward and spread the feeling to more and more. One of of us...And with news of the administration preparing a strike against us, we hunted more fervently than ever, for both humans and information.

By the time evening was starting to chill the air, we had found enough viable information to attempt a counter to the humans' plots. Rumors of some sort of anti-infection device were found to be true. The admin had used a relatively small-radius device, keeping the infected away from a part of a building. That was just a test. We later learned that after they found it successful, the full-sized device was ordered to be flown in to campus via helicopter. There was also a vague time and location, but they were enough to go by.

At 6 p.m. we found a literal army of humans had set up a defense on the Communications Lawn, one of the perceived drop zones for the infernal device. Our own hordes congregated just outside of Parks Hall, crowding around the outcroppings of rocks. (Earlier in the day there was talk of a Rock of Authority being among the outcropping and sculptures here). As more of us gathered, Those That Make Us Chant stood atop the rocks and mounds, and guided us. We all knew that what the humans planned meant to stymy our spread, and that we had to act soon.

Due to the firepower of the humans, Those That Make Us Chant suggested that we should only attack in waves, as a constant attack would expose each of us to a near-lethal amount of darts and their polyurethane. Waves of infected ebbing and flowing would make the humans fearful, is what we were told.

Although the main group of humans massed upon the Comm Lawn, a few keen-eyed infected noticed small groups dispersed along the edges of campus, as if they were looking for something. Thinking they could be signaling reinforcements or obtaining supplies, small hunting packs formed up and sought them out.

Those of us still gathered outside of Parks divided up, and prepared for an assault. Next to Parks Hall we could see the mass of humans on the lawn. They had gathered in two groups,  about half in a tight ball on the actual lawn, and the other half taking the height advantage upon the stairs. As instructed by our peers, we formed long lines of infected, and stormed down the stairs, onto the lawn, and against the humans. Our lines wavered and curved, exposing many to the darts, and as the waves broke, they crashed into the humans on the lawn. Many of us were struck down by darts, but many brought back fresh infected to Parks Hall, where we waited until the side-effects of the darts wore off. Due to the size of our group, the newly-infected were turned quickly, shedding their humanity under our will. They became one of us.

This confrontation showed us how strongly fortified the field was, and we devised a plan to flaunt the size of the field--they couldn't guard it all. From Parks, we dispersed ourselves in small groups, flitting our way around the Comm lawn until we massed as a large column behind the Communications Facility. We anxiously waited, but when we struck from behind, we were deterred and had to retreat back to Parks and regroup. Once we were as one again, we charged the lawn and stairs from the front. We knew we were going to get struck down, but we came back with more fresh kills--I was able to infect a human separated from his guard, and one of the younger infected even managed to claim the Bearded Squirrel Man, the great human strategist. With this kill, we were encouraged and chanted and sang an old song from our human lives: We all live in a yellow submarine--a yellow submarine--a yellow submarine!

As the sky grew darker, the freshly-infected told that the device would be approaching the campus very soon. Together we stood upon the stairs next to Parks, and looked down at the field with yearning. We must have them! As a single group we spilled down the steps and onto the lawn, calmly filing into a long line across the field, and then into a rank of four lines. For a brief moment, the humans and infected stared at each other in the dim light, and chanted and called out to each other. And then, we crashed like a wave on their defenses for one last time. Again, we couldn't overtake them, but we did manage to cut down their numbers.

We jogged, ran, hobbled, and limped back to Parks, many of us drained and tired from the effects of the darts, and that's when we heard it. The helicopter approached the Comm lawn, and the humans still had quite a force to defend the position. Our own numbers were too few, and so we stayed back in the shadows. After a few moments, it was clear what the device was: we all heard a vibration in the air, like far off music, but each of us felt it more. Our infections were driven inward by the pulses and tremors in the air, and we could not stop it. We fled across the campus away from the device and its blasts that caused our infection to burrow and wallow in our chests, but there was no escaping it.

News spread that the device had only been prepped to run for so long. It was estimated that the power source and supplies used would only allow it to oppress us for 17 hours. And so, we went to sleep with the gnawing knowledge that we couldn't strike again until noon--and in our sleep we chanted: 

We accept you, 
we accept you.
One of us, 
one of us.
gooble, gobble.

HvZ: Day Two

Thursday: Life as a Zombie

This morning I woke up feeling very achy and sore all over. Taking a warm shower and stretching sort of helped, but then I realized it wasn't just a muscular ache or soreness. That ache and hollowness in my chest and legs remained. There was also another sensation sitting in my body, and I remember the only word I can describe it with was "hunger." I also realized that I was viewing and assessing the world in a different way: It felt like when you notice how things a tiny crack in a window that changes your vision just slightly.

After finding a small meal at the dining hall, I wandered down towards my class on far south campus. It was a very lonely morning, as I didn't see a single potential victim around, only the slowly-growing numbers of my brethren and sistren. We nodded our heads with slight smiles--we were as one and we all know it--even the fresh ones. I went to class as usual,took my exam, and again wandered outside.

The rest of the morning was slow and target-less. The one pack of humans I glimpsed disappeared into a building, and I had seen them toting large blasters that could easily spray me in darts...those filthy darts. Just seeing those blasters my body knew instinctively to be wary of them.

I later realized that the human I had infected the afternoon before still hadn't completely turned. A full 15 hours later, and he was still human. By the 16th hour he finally was consumed. Apparently those freshly-infected, in their first hour or two, sometimes spread a strain of the infection that hasn't passed the threshold to infect humans. (Others say that some humans may be slightly less susceptible).

When I looked upon my first kill, there was a vivid moment where I remembered the moment I tagged him. He had been leading a few zombies away from his friends so they can escape. For a moment I felt sad for him, but a shadow passed through me and all I could focus on in the memory was the feeling that went through me as I had infected him. One of of us...

By the afternoon more humans were about on campus, mainly to show up for classes, and they kept in tightly-knit packs that defended all their members. Of course, this didn't deter some of the braver zombies. The impacts from the darts cause our infection to withdraw deep within, but some zombies--especially Those That Make Us Chant--say this is good for promoting a healthy strain that will infect many. Makes it hearty and resistant.

In the late afternoon there was dark rumors crossing the campus. Many zombies claimed of information about a weapon against the growing hordes. They spoke of the local administration, and how it was already trying to contain our masses. The administration had deployed a device that could hold the infected at bay--specifically on the East-side of Haggard Hall, where all day many of our kind stayed away from, like some sort of a taboo. The rumors spread by the hordes claimed that an even greater weapon was coming to campus. We could not have this, and so we planned, waited, and searched for information.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

HvZ: Day One

Wednesday: Escorts and Exercise

I was extremely busy yesterday with the game, but I shall explain my adventures through the first day of HvZ, Fall 2011. I'll even throw in some map drawings, but those may come later.

Early in the morning, I woke up a little  earlier than usual and went about my morning routine. I gathered all my gear--backpack, blaster, clip, extra darts, moderator and player bands, and jacket--and headed out by 7:20 a.m. I knew my floormate (also an Alex), who has the same early-morning class as me, was more than likely one of the Origin Zombies, so I was wary of going outside. I got to the door, and sure enough he was waiting outside for me. Alex and I had an uneasy truce set up, but there was also another zombie just outside of the door. In a brief scuffle, I stunned both with socks and we all went to eat.

After eating, Alex split off to go hunt, and I was again attacked by the other zombie from before. If he hadn't scuffed his shoes while running, I'm pretty sure I may have been turned very quickly. Halfway to class, my Alex texted saying he'd tagged someone in Red Square. Later, I found out that this was the crazy-fast player known as "The General's Hound." This meant bad news for all humans, as he is super fast, and gets kills very quickly. Within half an hour, the Hound had tagged three people.

I finished class and jumped from Academic West to Communications, where I went to class and then stayed in the computer lab afterward. At ten, I had until one for my next class. I ended up finding a group of humans to roll with. We easily went from Comm to Environmental Studies, and used its underground connection to get to Arntzen Hall. From here we building hopped all up north campus, then from there

I had class in Fraser that I was able to get to safely. In the class I realized that there were quite a few human friends in there. Once class was out, we all teamed up and started going through campus as a massive pack. For the next two hours we ran a highly efficient escort service. We didn't care if it was one human trying to get corner to corner on campus, or a group of six trying to cross to the next building--we were there. If you could keep an eye out, a blaster ready, and stayed with us, we'd get you where you needed to be--and we loved it!

This was all going fine and awesome, and then the Hound happened...

The large group I was with grouped up at Miller to talk to some people, and then we saw a lone human across Red Square fighting off two zombies, and about to lose. Most of the group took off, and I half jogged with them. When the human fell, my group ran faster, and I started to go around the fountain the other way. I had totally let my guard down on watching The Hound, and then bam, I was a zombie. The rest of my comrades got to Haggard Hall after seeing the human was tagged. They all looked back to briefly mourn my death, and then took off to continue escorting.

I went back to my dorm to drop off my backpack and blaster, and then gathered a few zombies from my floor to go hunting when I was able to spawn as a zombie. With wondrous timing, we left the dorm hall just as two humans were pinned down at the entrance. After a while of stalemating with them, we decided to actually go hunt. Even after only 30 minutes of becoming infected, I was feeling different. There was a need to hunt, an ache in my legs and chest, to reach out and infect someone else to share this feeling with. So, we hunted.

After a little bit of running around, we happened upon a few humans around Arntzen half-deciding what to do next. A few of them eventually made a break for it, and I chased down a single human. He was waving around his Spectre blaster and ended up swinging it as he fired at me, catching the dart in the barrel instead of firing it. Needless to say, I tagged him. It felt wonderful, but there was still a slight pang of what I could only describe as "hunter's remorse" as I ran off knowing I infected him.

Slowly, the aching in my legs and chest became stronger, and that remorse for the newly-infected human gradually faded away. And all I wanted to do was hunt.

HvZ Fall 2011

Just a good place to get the information and follow the story, since I would've had to keep updating every post with links to other parts of the story. [Videos and maps are being worked on, and will be added to post later].

Zombie Outbreak Detected!
Zombie Plague Imminent
Outbreak T-Minus 10 hours

During Game
Kills Detected!
Day One
Day Two
Mission One
Day Three
Day Four and Mission Two
Day Five
Day Six and Mission Three
Day Seven
Final Day and Mission Four


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Kills detected!

[Updates throughout the day]

As of 7 a.m. this morning, there were 15 people on campus that became initial carriers. We don't know for sure if this is from low immune systems or from other variables.

As of now (8:42 a.m.), there have been 8 verified infections of humans.

Day One
A really fast zombie nicknamed "General's Hound" was the first victim. Since then he has been infecting people left and right.

10:00 a.m. 36 Z - 546 H
10:12 a.m. 43 Z - 539 H
12:18 p.m. 64 Z - 524 H
4:45 p.m.: 123 Z - 420 H

Day Two
181 Z - 415 H
11:19 a.m.: 196 Z - 401 H
3:43 p.m.: 249 Z - 348 H

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Outbreak in T-minus 10 hours

More like 9:43 hours. (For continuity, read here first)

Tonight's testing session was probably the most populated of the four sessions. There was so many, that our labs are currently backed up. As of last count, there were 529 samples cataloged, and quite a few from tonight's still left. Blood tests will be running late into the night, cataloging every sample and testing for who will become the initial carriers. We're expecting notifications to the carriers around midnight.

Our tests on zombie-positive blood in rodents shows that our projections are correct: the virus will reach the threshold for human-infection at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning. That's Wednesday, October 19.

Good luck everyone! May you have good aim and run fast.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Zombie plague imminent

As many of you have read, there has been a threat of a plague about to hit the campus of WWU. Again, local analysts, with the aid of years of data and algorithms, have determined that the plague will become active on the morning of Wednesday, October 19th. The symptoms and spread of the virus seem to only manifest during the hours of 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.--It is believed that a combination of available sunlight and temperatures are the cause of this. Due to the metabolism and intensity of the virus, which essentially turns people into non-lethal "zombies," essentially burns itself out in a short amount of time. It then remains dormant until daylight times and temperatures become suitable again. 

As mentioned in the past, this virus can only be carried by and affect relatively small groups of campus populations.  There is no real correlation between these carriers. There is relatively no adverse affects of being a carrier of the virus, especially because of the very rapid life-cycle of each outbreak; however, it was deemed prudent by the local administration to regulate and observe events during the outbreak. In order to help regulate and observe the situation, the administration has sponsored a series of testing and briefing sessions to discover this quarter's potential carriers.

During these sessions, those present were briefed on how to react during the outbreak. Subjects that have a potential of becoming these so-called "zombies" will wear orange armbands to signal caution to all others on campus. If someone does become a "zombie," this orange band will be tied around the head. There will also be moderators with green armbands to make sure the outbreak doesn't interfere with daily campus life.

Three sessions still remain open, and will be held at Arntzen Hall, Room 100 @ 7 p.m.: tonight, and Monday and Tuesday evenings.

In conjunction with the local administration, there is a military force that will be monitoring the situation on campus. Intervention by this force has been authorized, and will be used sparingly. Initial talks reveal that there is a vaccine being developed by this group, and they may use it if needed. This military group published a report that the use of polyurethane, a man-made foam, temporarily stunts the spread of the virus: A single touch of polyurethane can limit the virus's abilities for up to fifteen minutes.

Due to the effectiveness of polyurethane, the military has urged the use of Nerf-created products, specifically blasters and darts. The accessibility, ease-of-use, and commercial popularity of these products was deemed the best option in equipping the carrier-population. It was also revealed that socks can be used as an equally viable option for warding off the infected.

(There are several theories to exactly why this is true. Some say include trace amounts of polyurethane are in the socks from the factories; chemicals in laundry detergent may have similar effects as polyurethane; and one researcher has even introduced the idea that the socks incubate a zombie-resistant compound after coming into contact with young adults' feet, and water from being washed).

If you feel that you may be a carrier, please, attend one of the meetings mentioned above. Additional information can be found online, on the local administratively-run website.

Good luck, and may you have good aim and quick feet.

Part 1
Part 3

Monday, October 10, 2011

Zombie Outbreak Detected!

Last year I documented the fairly-tame zombie outbreak that happened on WWU campus during Spring Quarter, and I'll be doing it again this year. Video evidence of last year's outbreak has been compiled in an informational video below.

According to long-range transmissions, there is a high potential of this non-lethal plague striking campuses around the world within the next few months. Local analysts have determined that a WWU-based outbreak may hit the student population within the next week. These analysts have used algorithms and data over the past few years to predict that the full-on outbreak will happen approximately 7 a.m. local time on Wednesday, October 19th.

Scientists have also found that once the outbreak happens, only a specific population of students will be able to become carriers, and ultimately show physical symptoms of the zombie virus. These potential carriers will be tested for during the coming week, be trained on how to respond on campus, and issued orange armbands to designate that they may be carriers. Anyone becoming infected will tie the orange armband around their head, to signal to everyone they are zombies.
If you feel you may be a potential carrier, please attend one of the meetings over the next week, which will be at 7 p.m. in Arntzen Hall, Room 100 on the following days:
  1. Thursday, Oct. 13
  2. Saturday, Oct. 15
  3. Monday, Oct. 17
  4. Tuesday, Oct. 18
Good luck, and may you have good aim and quick feet.

Part 2
Part 3


Monday, September 26, 2011

Year Two, Week One

This'll be a round-up and summary of my last week, which was very busy, so you can use this to pass the time while waiting for the rain to stop. Also, sorry for lack of pictures in this post.

Room- / floormates
This first week has been pretty sweet, and a good marker of what's to come this year. My roommate and I had talked late last spring and during the summer to figure out how the room would be. We're all moved in, and I'm sure we'll still tweak things as we go, but it's a great set-up. Whenever we think we might intrude on one another's homework time or play music too loud, we talk, and things get settled. 

To reader's with new roommates: Just talk. It seriously settles things out. Unless your roommate won't talk or compromise...then I'd say go chill with friends in their dorms when all else fails.

Late last week my roommate and I did our hall's Open Door Night and met lots of people. My roommate challenged himself (and dominated) about learning people's names. We both say it was around "40 names," and it actually isn't that far from reality. Of course, now everyone will probably know him as "The Guy Who Knows Everyone."

We also got to know more people on our floor. One of our immediate neighbors has one of my classes, which is always good to have familiar faces in class.

During the Info Fair last week, I signed up for the campus clubs Browncoats and Bad Wwulf: Joss Whedon and Doctor Who clubs, respectively. For those that don't know, Joss Whedon created Firefly, among other awesome things. Sounds like this week I'll be able to go to their first meetings and get to meet new people.

Last night I went to the Humans Versus Zombies for our first staff meeting. Got me excited for the upcoming game [Insert subtle plug for the Fall Game, running from Oct. 19-26, here]. I look forward to working with everyone and do my part to make the game run as seamlessly as possible.

This dark, stormy, and rainy weather over the last few days really makes me want to do a few things; namely jump into a pile of blankets and pillows, read, write, type, and paint. If I come up with anything creative and worthwhile, I'll probably write about it on here. 

I love the feel and dark of fall weather, but not so much walking through the rain. Now, watching it while warm and dry, that's another thing I like.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Back to campus!

This was a move-in, college-filled weekend. This past week really snuck up on me, especially considering I finished my big art project on Friday. Anyways, on Saturday I spent all day packing and figuring out what to store, get rid of, or just take with me. Got pretty much everything into the car.

Yesterday I moved in, the process was really fast, as usual. People helped move stuff from cars into a holding zone inside, and then from there they helped get it upstairs and into the dorm. I think in total that was 15-20 minutes. My roommate had been there hours earlier, so he had the beds all bunked like we talked about over summer. Lofting gives lots of space in the room, but bunking does so much more!

Also, we figured whoever had the earliest class in a quarter gets bottom bunk.

 The biggest surprise was our windows. There isn't one large window, just five individual windows. It looks a little strange and quasi-prison-esque, but we can really control light and breeze into our room this way.

Three pictures composited for one image. 
Basically the view from sitting at my desk.

And now the rest of the room:

 Last night my roommate and I went walking and chilled in town with one of my friends from last year. Fun way to catch up with people and stay up late, as well as get used to the town again.

Today, bought some textbooks I needed, saw some more friends, and browsed through the Info Fair. I'm stoked there's a Doctor Who club: Bad Wwulf!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, Bonus (Humans Versus Zombies)

sponsored by 
La Crema Coffee and Roastery
La Conner, WA

A lot of colleges have a group of students that play a game called Humans Versus Zombies. For those of you that don't know, HvZ is a Nerf-based game of tag with two teams: Humans and Zombies (obviously). Humans get Nerf blasters and darts, and socks, while Zombies tag with hands. Simple enough, but I thought anyone that's new to it might want some tips on what to bring for this week of mayhem.

The Rules and Schedule
At WWU, the group requires all participating to attend an informational meeting to learn the basic rules. Last year, all those playing had to also then take a quick test afterwards before getting their player cards. You can find WWU's HvZ rules on this website, and stay in the loop with the Facebook group and page. 

It is good to be really acquainted with different tactics and the lay of the land. Take a day or two during down time to wander the campus and find different route between buildings. Humans are safe indoors, so find routes that allow you to jump from safety zone to safety zone to all your classes. Talk to experienced players--even after only one season of HvZ you learn a lot of tips and tactics, so listen up. 

Be sure to wear clothes and shoes that will allow you to run well and move easily. Last year, I wore a jacket with a lot of zippers and just crammed a ton of notebook paper and a pencil or two into them so I didn't need my backpack. If you absolutely need a backpack that week, strap it tight to you so it's not flopping around. You can use a belt, cable, or cord to help pull everything closer to your body.

Cell phone
This handy device can help you communicate with other players if they're in-game--no consulting non-players or someone that's been stunned. Zombies can use it to coordinate attacks while hunting humans, and humans can inversely use it to track packs of zombies to evade.

Having a simple point-and-shoot camera that can also take video can help capture epic events as the game unfolds. If you get footage and post it online, be sure to tag it thoroughly and correctly so other players can go back and find it. Also, it doesn't hurt to also post about it. 

While just playing this game creates an environment of camaraderie, having a friend or two with similar schedules play as well helps morale. Also, you just have a blast with friends. I suggest forming a team, which can sometimes be done in an official manner, depending on the rules of the current season.

I know that when you get super into the game, nothing else matters, but the campus does continue to operate while the game goes on. So, be cautious of non-player students and staff, so you don't run them over--or get run over by bikers and skateboarders. Also, hanging around classrooms means you may attract attention away from the professors and their lectures.

Socks. Lots of  clean socks.
Unless you want to start as a Zombie (because it is pretty fun), balled-up socks are a great way to defend yourself as a Human. First, they're easy to conceal and carry, and you can use them at whatever distance you feel comfortable throwing. I've seen a lot of people walking around "defenseless" and tagging with a surprise-attack sock, as well as at extremely close range and if a blaster jams.

Of course, you need darts for your blasters to work. The darts that are used in WWU's HvZ are the Streamlined, Suction-Tip, Micros, and Whistlers. Velcro-tipped are not allowed. Pre-loaded, extra clips, whether the usual or drum-type, are very useful.

Blasters (All-game legal)
Most Nerf blasters are legal for the entire game, some have to be modified a certain way, and others are just illegal unless during announced Missions (see more below). You can go see the list of blasters on the Arsenal page. For safety concerns, the Longstrike CS-6 cannot be used with either it's barrel or shoulder stock attached, because the silhouette is too realistic.

Blasters (Mission-only)
Many of the battery-powered blasters that just spray darts aren't legal during normal game days, only during announced missions. Basically, if it's big, hulking, and shoots a lot of darts, it's mission-only. Below are three of such guns.

Top, left to right: Barricade RV-10 (Battery-powered), Stampede ECS (Battery-powered)
Bottom: Swarmfire

Vulcan EBF-25 (not vector'd due to time restraints)


Other than that, just have fun!! 

Looking for good coffee in La Conner, WA? Look no further than La Crema Coffee and Roastery for your caffeine needs. Great coffee and timely service,  with seating, Wi-Fi, and parking available.
Personally, I like the dirty chai.

I claim no rights to Captain Jack Sparrow, Disney does.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, IV (Entertainment)

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La Crema Coffee and Roastery
La Conner, WA

Stuck in a dorm room, sometimes you have to have some sort of entertainment to break from all the schooling. And sometimes you gotta step away from the computer.

Jack says: [And sometimes you write blogs revolving around inanimate objects...]

In this techno-raging era, of course the go-to boredom-buster will be TV, video games, and the internet. Well, even these will become somewhat of a bore (or even too much of a distraction), so I'm going to offer other venues of entertainment, since these are so ingrained in or lives that they're second nature. I'll name a few things that can get you out of boredom, and yes, outside. So, brace yourself.

As a librarian and avid reader, my first recommendation will, of course, be reading.
I'm not saying it's the first thing I grab for, but it's a good start for this list. It doesn't even have to be books; you can use magazines, comic books, graphic novels, web comics, online articles, newspapers, and any other written media. Just read something...actually, I personally have a line of what I won't count as reading, but you can all have yours.

Jack says: [He just put me here...but I do kind of like these*]

If you're inclined to create, like draw, paint, sculpt, carve, etc., then by golly bring some supplies to do so! Just because you have classes and homework doesn't mean creativity ends. If you forget supplies, the AS Bookstore also carries a variety of supplies for Art Majors that have run out of everything from paper to paint to carving tools.

Puzzles are always a good way to keep your mind going, whether they're Crosswords, Sudoku, Word Search, Scrabble, actual jigsaw puzzles, Rubix Cubes, and Portal...wait, that involves a computer / TV ...(still counts, though).

One can type and / or write to kill time--if you're into that sort of thing. I know writing and reading are generally not a favorite of college students, but there are many who do still enjoy it--like myself. Last year I typed on my typewriter for an hour while waiting for my laundry. You can also start writing letters with a penpal, whether in your dorm hall, on campus, or somewhere else in the world.

[Don't worry, the writer doesn't bring the typewriter to class]

Bringing a deck of cards is a must, because sometime within the school year someone will want to play either Go Fish!, War, Egyptian Rat-Slap, Baseball, Black Jack, Texas Hold 'Em, or any variety of card games, and these can be very entertaining, especially when you 'up the ante' and bet with a variety of things, as seen here.

[Hell, once you dust them off, you may even find a group of people that will fight against your deck of Magic: The Gathering or Pokemon cards]

Now, to get outside. College is full of different groups of people, all hanging out together--especially when it's sunny. Some activities I've seen outside include: 
  • Frisbee
  • Hula hooping
  • Hookah smoking
  • Humans Versus Zombies (more later)
  • Football
  • Hiking
  • Soccer
  • Skateboarding
  • Biking
  • Basketball
  • Boomerang
  • Volleyball
  • Slack-rope walking
  • Climbing
  • Swimming
  • Free running (parkour)
So, you should bring some essential things for these, like a bike, skateboard, soccer ball, football, basketball, hookah, swim suit, etc.

Music is always a good way to be entertained...or at least have it in the background while doing other things. I suggest a pair of decent speakers--or headphones, in case your musical taste is "unique" from your roommate.

Hanging out! Get out there and make new friends, and then go do awesome stuff with those friends! This can include going to a hookah bar, performing music on the streets, getting hot dogs at 2 a.m., driving to Canada, having sex, going to concerts and shows, go drinking / partying, gambling at casinos, dressing up fancily for dinners, write a web comic together, create a new cult, hypnotizing each other, ordering pizza way too early in the morning, watching movies, etc.

Basically what this post is all about is knowing that there will be several hours you have to fill at some point. It is best start thinking about it now, while you can gather supplies to fight boredom. While this list is short and in no way claiming to list everything used to fight boredom, I hope it gets you thinking about this topic before school starts.

* - Books shown are (L to R):
  • Frank Miller's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
  • Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale's Batman: Dark Victory
  • Trigun, Vol. 1 and 2 / Trigun: Maximum Vol. 1-14 by Yasuhiro Nightow
  • Kate Laster's Deadcat, Vol. 1 (in envelope)
  • Collection of Gerard Way's Umbrella Academy: Dallas, single issues
  • "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" and The Pleasure of Finding Things Out, both by Richard Feynman

Looking for good coffee in La Conner, WA? Look no further than La Crema Coffee and Roastery for your caffeine needs. Great coffee and timely service,  with seating, Wi-Fi, and parking available.
Personally, I like the dirty chai.

I claim no rights to Captain Jack Sparrow, Disney does.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, III (Dorm: Furniture)

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La Crema Coffee and Roastery
La Conner, WA

Most dorm rooms come equipped with some furniture, usually a bed, some drawers, a desk, and a chair (well, at WWU anyway). Beyond that, students must bring what they need to feel more at home. This blog may be a little short, but should still get the job done.
Jack says: [That's what she said!]

Extra seating (...)
University-issued chairs can be back and forth. Some people get rigid, wooden chairs and some will get flexible, plastic and wheeled chairs. It seemed to be mainly on which dorm hall you lived in. Either way, one chair per person isn't enough. Bring at least one fold-up chair, or a couch of a manageable size to help with the seating and space issues.
[I personally use a fold-up camping stool I found on a beach]

(True story, here it is):

... And extra bedding
My roommate and I had a big cushion we kept on the floor, and it was essentially a dog bed; except we used it store-bought-new. It was a great place to sit and watch / play games, and it doubled as an extra bed if someone stayed over. This could work for certain rooms, but it's just a good idea to have a spare set of pillows and / or covers for any additional sleepers. This isn't exactly "furniture-level," advice, but if you get a large dog bed like we did, it counts as furniture.

If you have food in your room, chances are you need to keep it fresh, have a way to prepare it, as well as store it. The shelves and drawers in my closet helped with some of the stuff like macaroni, ramen noodle packets, and cans of tuna just fine. I have a small, two-in-one fridge / freezer that was most useful the first quarter, when we actually kept food in it. Also, a microwave that got more an more use as we ate more and more midnight-on popcorn.
[Just think of your room as a boat: limited space, and there should always be food and rum...unless you're underage, of course].

The dorms I was in had built-in closets with built-in drawers, which helped for clothes, cleaning supplies, shoes, boxes, etc. Some of my friends on my floor had various sizes of shelves to suit their needs of storage vs. space. You might want to wait until the second or third week to bring in shelves, because usually by then your room will be in a semi-permanent state--as far as furniture is involved--and you can find the best type of shelving unit to use.
[Best to be creative in solving problems: Just grab an old, flattened box, and use it as a make-shift shelf].

A lot of people lately need ways to entertain themselves, and a majority of people are using appliance-grade ways of killing boredom. These are usually known as televisions, XBox (360)- / PS- (1, 2, 3) / Game Cube- / Wii- / Dreamcast- / Atari-ses (basically, any video game systems), and laptop computers. If you are one to use these, and won't use them as an excuse from homework (too often), then I recommend you bring them.
[Trust me, you're going to use electronics a lot].

Looking for good coffee in La Conner, WA? Look no further than La Crema Coffee and Roastery for your caffeine needs. Great coffee and timely service,  with seating, Wi-Fi, and parking available.
Personally, I like the dirty chai.

I claim no rights to Captain Jack Sparrow, Disney does.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, II (Dorm: Daily)

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La Crema Coffee and Roastery
La Conner, WA

Last week, my co-host Captain Jack Sparrow was involved in an unfortunate accident while in the dark depths of the Adidas baqpaq, but is well on his way to recovery. That is why this week's post is late, but he will make a brief appearance in this week's list of things to bring to college.

Before the accident, showcasing a blended dirty chai
Jack says: [Over the next few posts, there may be some overlap with things to bring to college. This is because a few things I'm suggesting to bring weren't that easy to say 'they were just this category, and not that one.' So just take another swig...of apple juice...and keep reading.]

This post will center on many of the items I used on an almost-daily basis within the dorms. Most of it will be like 'well-duh' category, but it's always nice to have a reminder.

Bathroom and Laundry Supplies
Everyone needs the essentials, for obvious, hygiene concerns.
[Just because you're taking college advice from a 18th-century pirate, doesn't mean you have to smell like one].
  • Toothbrush / -paste
  • Towels
  • Shampoo & Soap
  • Sandals (some people prefer them for in or just after the shower)
  • Other personal items
  • Big, loose bag for laundry (plastic bins are big and awkward at times)
  • Laundry detergent and dryer sheets: possibly split with roommate--I had lots of detergent left over
  • Laundry card (if provided by university)
  • Clothes for wearing and washing are good, too. If you need help deciding what kind, follow me.
Cache of food
Even with the best meal plan, you're still limited to the hours the dining halls are open, and you're in college--which means you'll get peckish at midnight and all those odd-hours. Having at least a constant cache of chips, bread, or granola bars will stave off hunger until dawn. Also, a water bottle to refill is really handy, especially since you have to stay hydrated.
[Some form of a plate and cutlery will generally serve you well in this as well--but I'm fine with my hands and teeth].

You should always have some means of currency on you, whether it be a few greenbacks, such as Washingtons ($1), Jeffersons ($2), Lincolns ($5); checks (yes, the kind your grandmother writes for your birthday), or cards, like credit and / or debit and / or gift. You never know when you might have an opportunity to go on an adventure. Also, having like $50 for the AS Bookstore is helpful for those days you need to buy a folder, pens, CDs, or a nice WWU-branded sweatshirt.
[You can always bum off a generous (and slightly more prosperous) friend. As long as you don't give them the duck and actually pay them back in a timely fashion, that is].

Office-like supplies
These are just downright helpful when you need them, and relatively cheap. And you can even let your friends use them!
[There you go! You can repay that debt you just got from last night's adventure].
  • Sticky notes
  • Stapler
  • Scissors
  • Pens
  • Paper clips
  • Rubber bands
  • Folders
  • Surge Protector 
  • Ethernet cable

Painter's tape
I had a roll of this with me in my art supplies, but little did I know how useful this stuff can be. Anything paper I needed to stick somewhere, I grabbed a bit of this tape. Something was falling down--tape.  Something broke--tape. I would recommend it for its helpfulness, and ability to leave wall-paint where it is.

[It's a miracle!]

Looking for good coffee in La Conner, WA? Look no further than La Crema Coffee and Roastery for your caffeine needs. Great coffee and timely service,  with seating, Wi-Fi, and parking available.
Personally, I like the dirty chai.

I claim no rights to Captain Jack Sparrow, Disney does.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, I (Clothes)

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La Crema Coffee and Roastery
La Conner, WA

The weather here in Bellingham is fickle in such a particular way. It will jump around from rainy to snowy to windy and sunny, and almost all in the same day. Having gone through a cycle in my first year, I feel pretty confident about what you should bring clothes-wise to adapt with the weather.

Thick rain or hiking boots - I myself have hiking boots that are just a few hairs too big, so they're comfortable when I lace them up, and I don't get too hot if I have to wear them all day. Also, you don't have to be scared about getting your socks wet when walking through campus, which is notorious for puddles. Just relax, and have a moment of childhood nostalgia just splashing through the puddles.

[Jack suggests: "Wearing boots without holes...or made by Disney in China."]

Jackets / coats / sweatshirts - It is a good idea to have a variety of cover, from light to heavy. Then you're ready for the sunny-yet-not-warm days, the truly-rainy days, the suddenly-sunny days, as well as the days the sun takes a break: snowstorm-days. Umbrellas are a good accessory, but be wary--the use of an umbrella is oft-seen as a non-Washingtonian trait.

["One word: layers."]

Cold-day clothes - Layers and boots go a long way to keeping warm. As do gloves and / or mittens, a scarf, and a hat. A hat or hood of some sort is perfect for keeping your head / hair dry. To stay with the "in-crowd," I suggest a beanie, hooded sweatshirt, fedora, or any hat you feel comfortable with.

["Tricornes are perfect, and proven against even the saltiest weather."]

Sunny-day clothes - Once and a while, the sun will decide to visit unannounced, like traveling relatives, and so it is always a good idea to have appropriate apparel for these fleeting moments. Whatever you wear during warm days, whether its short-sleeve shirts, tanktops, shorts, unbottoned-button-up shirts, sandals, etc., that's what I recommend to bring, even during Fall and Winter quarters--just in case.

["You have to learn to take in the sun, especially with some rum."]

Fancy / Dress-up clothes - Many times this year, I've seen groups of people all dressed up as if there was a fancy dance. Most of the time, it was for an off-campus party, or just a group of people wanting to be randomly fancy at dinner or late night. If you are one to wear ties and / or nice dresses, it won't hurt to have them available.

["Make anything look good."]

The main point is to be ready for almost any kind of weather at any time of the year up here.

Looking for good coffee in La Conner, WA? Look no further than La Crema Coffee and Roastery for your caffeine needs. Great coffee and timely service,  with seating, Wi-Fi, and parking available.
Personally, I like the dirty chai.

I claim no rights to Captain Jack Sparrow, Disney does.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

College By the Numbers, Year I

For those that are curious, I've compiled some numbers from my freshman year that may be useful. This info has been gathered from each of the quarters (Fall, Winter, and Spring), so you can click the links for more quarter-specific numbers.

Edit: It has been requested that I reveal the numbers on living expenses in the dorms. According to this WWU document, dorms (w/o meals) cost $5,571.
Each student is given a Laundry Card to use the washer and dryers on campus. Initially the cards have $1.75 on them, and then each student is responsible for reloading their card by going to the dining halls and paying cash at the converter. While doing laundry this year, I spent $19.50 from the card ($17.75 of cash onto the card), and found $8.39 in the machines, hidden in wet piles of lint, hair-ties, lipstick, and paperclips.

In total, I spent $960.80 on 13 textbooks. Most of them I was able to sell back to the bookstore for some cash, but I'm going to try and do more student-to-student transactions when possible, to keep costs down and cash-back a little higher.


Each quarter, students with certain meal plans are given $150 Dining Dollars on their ID cards. This money is for buying food and beverages at the on-campus diners and markets. The leftover money is carried over each quarter, except for summer, where it disappears. Of the $450 given to me, I easily spent it all.

I paid for an Unlimited Meal Plan for three quarters, with the combined cost of $3,179. The unlimited plan allowed me to eat whenever the dining halls were open, without worrying about using up all of my meals.  I've been keeping track, and I've used 161 meals which equates to $1,233.75 if I had paid for each meal myself. Each quarter there were 10 guest passes available, and I used all 30.
Meals, 146 (1,125 of 1,208), 176 (1327.5 of 1049), (1233.75 of 922)

Each student is given $25 a quarter for printing off of the school's printers. With black and white costing $0.05 and color $0.25, that's 500 and 100 pages, respectively. Out of the $75 available to me, I only used $38.10, and all in black and white (762 pages). If students run out of this free account, printing cards can be purchased and reloaded in the library.

At the beginning of the year I had a $100 gift card to the Associated Students Bookstore to buy things other than textbooks. All of this money was used to buy pens, pencils, paper, CDs, surge protectors, and a few other things I needed throughout the quarter. I found it was really good to have the card on me, as I didn't have to spend my cash--which could then be used to buy other things, like bowling or hot dogs in Bellingham.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

College Rat Move-Out

During Finals Week, I had a lapse of humanity, and started to express a possible instinctive trait carried down from rodents after the Great Chasm in Earth's biological evolution from germ to demi-god-germ. The specific trait I am talking about is shared with birds, rodents, pregnant she-humans, and many other organisms discovered and hidden: nesting.

The definition of nesting instinct (according to Wikipedia) includes phrases such as:
...nesting instinct refers to an instinct or urge in pregnant animals to prepare a home for the upcoming newborn(s). It is found in a variety of animals (both mammals and birds) including humans...It is commonly characterized by a strong urge to clean and organize one's home...
[--All-Knowing Wikipedia]
It is thus that I have a confession to make...I am having a nesting instinct because I'm pregnant: with ideas! Also, I was moving out at the end of the week. Here is a selection of picture-images of the sequence of chaos.

My side of the room after I took it un-lofted it (lawfully). I had a fridge, microwave, locker, drawers, and box of food beneath it, so it had to be moved into the open middle.

My roommate's bed before taking it apart (top), and then the following chaos of his bed on my bed [uncensored].

Through the scattered remains of the bed, I noticed that our Jeweled Doorhandle Owl was leering at us. And then I realized his bed was suddenly de-lofted like mine!

This is how my closet and fridge / microwave combo looked until the moment I moved out. The other power plugs were either taken, or inaccessible due to other displaced stuff. So, it was all plugged into my closet.

This clutter intrigues me, and terrifies me at the same time. It's like the image of hiding yourself away in the middle of a huge museum of paintings, or shelves and shelves of books--I'm drawn to that idea, but I'm afraid that once I start, I won't stop.
It is this image of being nested within something inspires me. I want to be enveloped in it. Also, the nesting thing may also be my mind cradling all these ideas in my head--some of which will be taking fruition soon, and some I have yet to start tilling.
Damn, my metaphors and literary devices are scattered today.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Jack's What to Bring, Intro

The full title is actually Jack's What to Bring to College, but it will be shortened for future posts.
This summer, with the help of Captain Jack Sparrow and La Crema Coffee and Roastery, I will explain things to bring with you when you go to college, from clothes to ideas to dorm-living. Hopefully this will be an entertaining little project to keep posts going for a while during summer break.

If you have any suggestions, write them here (anonymously, or not), or post on the Facebook page for Alex Kramer Blogs.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

College By The Numbers, Quarter III

Herein lies the continuation of my "College By the Numbers" series. You can click through these links to find the numbers from first quarter, as well as second quarter.
Western's Spring 2011 quarter started March 29, and officially ends June 10. That makes the quarter 2 months and 12 days--equivalent to 10.4 weeks; or 74 days; or 53 weekdays.
[Wolfram alpha is amazing]

Now, time for The Numbers for...

Dorm Life
  • Finished one bar of shower soap
  • ~2/3 of a bottle of shampoo
  • About a quarter of a tube of toothpaste
  • One tooth brush
  • Visited home four weekends of the ten weeks
  • I actually found $0.74 in the laundry machines...
  • While spending $8.75 on my Laundry Card

    It's a good idea to have like $3 on your card, in case you need to have an emergency cleaning.

Class Materials
  • Went through two black, ball-point pens taking notes in four classes.
  • Used another half "vial" of pencil lead.
  • Between four classes, I went through two-and-a-half  notebooks.
  • Almost finished off the last of my lined paper, mainly with math.
  • Spent $492.59 on five textbooks--the most expensive being accounting, at $132.

College / Campus
  • Every quarter, I have $150 available on my Western ID card to use at the campus markets and coffee shops. Any leftover money goes to the next quarter--but ends up getting deleted when summer starts. Last quarter I had $3.25 left over, so a total of $153.25 at the start of this quarter. [Enter total here]. I had 17 cups of dirty chai (chai latte with at least a shot of espresso--usually two).
  • I ate at the dining halls a total of 161 meals, using all 10 of my guest passes. This was using an Unlimited Plan, which I've liked particularly for its flexibility and I don't have to worry about making the meals last the whole quarter. Just like last quarter, I kept extensive track of my meal-usage.
  • An average week had 14 meals this quarter. If I had paid for all my meals with cash, it would've been $1,233.75. According to the file I found on WWU's website, the cost of an Unlimited Plan during Spring Quarter was $922.
  • I printed about 202 pages using school printers. Each student gets $25 per quarter, which is 500 pages, or $0.05 a page (black and white. Color is $0.25 a page). Students that need more may add money to a card to use with the printers.
  • I used the Bellingham Bus system a lot this quarter. The first time I tried, I had to pay because apparently after that much non-use, my account was dropped from my card, but the next day I had it sorted with a quick, three-minute visit to the right offices.

    Saturday, June 4, 2011

    Things I've Heard In College, Quarter III

    Girl at the dining hall to her friends (and half the room): "I have a big announcement to make: I know how to make Baja Blast! It is basically blue gatorade and Mountain Dew!"

    Woman outside of a house party, "I know how much I weigh: 93 pounds, and five shots."

    "Hey, dude, were you in my Econ class last quarter--sat in the back--drank Four Loko in class."
    "Yeah, I don't know why everyone made a big deal about it."

    "With the utmost respect and love, I call you guys "The Scroll Down Generation.""

    Cinema teacher holding a strip of film from a reel: "What if I fell off a spaceship from Mars, that was somehow orbiting Bellingham, Washington--the supposed cultural center of the Universe--how would you explain this to me?"

    "We've all seen a Godzilla film, buzzed at 3 a.m....Was I the only one? (somewhat-silence) It was a great spring vacation."

    "I don't mind breasts, but I'd rather not show you cockfighting in class. Is that weird for anyone?"

    Pack of guys sitting in Red Square, watching the ladies walk around.
    Guy 1: "The one thing I have discovered in college that I love: yoga pants."
    Guy 2: "Really? You've never seen them before?"
    Guy 1: "Nope. I went to a Catholic high school. So this is awesome right now."

    "NASA should have cheerleaders! You would get up at 4 a.m. to watch something get shot off into space if NASA had cheerleaders."

    "Fuck! This Goofy Movie shit is cramping my night!"

    Two guys walking around: "I love this weather! All the booty shorts are coming out and the tank tops are showing!"[They high-fived]

    Guy in line ahead of me swagging it up with the barista while ordering coffee.
    Barista: "May I help you?"
    Guy: "Yes, but I'm not sure what I want. (Looks at menu a moment). You look like a woman with great taste. Why don't you surprise me with something you like, and I'll try it."
    The barista winked at him and wrote down the mystery drink on the cup (and maybe even her number by the way she smiled).

    Accounting teacher talking about depreciation of items: "We can't make the computer disappear, like with Harry Potter's wand magic. What would it be...not 'disappear'...Anyone know how to cast a wand spell?...'Disappeario!' (wand-flick motion)...Sorry, I really like Harry Potter."

    "I find it strange it's okay to show kids peoples' heads blowing up and sing-alongs with purple dinosaurs, but people freak out the moment a woman's breast--something they will actually see in life--is shown on television."

    "Don't ask me to draw: I can't draw a straight line with a ruler."

    Me during Halo: Reach: "Sorry, that was my grenade. I threw it like an hour ago."
    Roommate that was inadvertently targeted: "It's okay, I watched Dodgeball."

    Film teacher: "Seems like a lot of people are under the impression that 4-20 is an actual holiday. All of you nice enough to be here will be rewarded, and not in a way related to the date."

    A student in the back of a big lecture class (with slanted, concrete floors) knocked over their glass bottle (of V8, Starbucks, or Whiskey, I don't know). It rolled down quite a ways, and then hit something and shattered. From the moment it was knocked over, the attention of the class and teacher was on the sound. There was a moment of "They're gonna get it" silence after the glass shattered, and then the teacher smiles and says, "You guys are seriously giving me flashbacks." And proceeded with the lecture like nothing happened.

    After watching The Graduate in class, teacher ends with: "Contrary to popular belief, people from this era did have a sense of humor, and procreated once and a while."

    "You should take a bat, hang it from the ceiling, and smash the pinata against it!"

    Teacher scans the lecture hall before starting class: "Oh, a lot of you are imitating empty chairs today. Well, it is a beautiful day, and it'll only get harder as the quarter passes, but you should still try to make it to class, I'll make it worth your while."

    "If I had 1% of what Avatar made, I would buy an island! I wouldn't be here, you'd have to come to me to learn about cinema."

    When asked about if a question would be on the math final, teacher says: "I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of said question on the final--to cover my ass about it."